John Self is a consumer extraordinaire.

Rolling between London and New York he closes movie deals and spends feverishly, all the while grabbing everything he can to sate his massive appetites: alcohol, tobacco, pills, pornography and mountains of junk food.

But John's excesses haven't gone unnoted. Menaced by a phone stalker, his high-wire, hoggish lifestyle is about to bring him face-to-face with the secret of his success.

'Terribly, terminally funny: laughter in the dark, if ever I heard it' Guardian